A Love Rejection: he likes pretty girls
Crickets echoed to keep me company as memories popped up one another. Today is the time for teenage years’ memories to show up. Adolescence. It was a period when I got a crush on a boy who was famous among girls. I bet most of my female classmates also liked him back then. I have liked that boy since day one of school. People call it to love at first sight, huh? After years, he knew that I had a crush on him. Was I too obvious? INFJ me actually can’t get along with him really well. I didn’t expect anything. Even there was no idea to confess. Ugh, no. Liking him to strive for a relationship was not my intention. I only admired him from afar. I was happy when he had a girlfriend. Also sad when he broke up. I was happy when we were in the same group. I was happy when he got good grades. I was happy until…
Does he even remember that one particular day? Cause I do. Vividly. That day. He asked if someone who had a crush on him was me out of the blue. I shut my mouth. A second later. He added, “I only like pretty girls. The flawless one.”
I was really feeling blue after he said the words no one asked. Flawless. He uttered in front of my pimpled face. Well, thanks. The corners of the lips curled up. Yup, I smiled. Imbecile. Such a fake unpretty moron. How can you do that when your heart is torn. Years passed. I’m haunted by a sword. It wounded me. Engraved in my heart. The word… The words are the sword.
The wound from the sword might be healed with a few stitches. What about the wounds caused by words? Maybe the wound will heal when I start to go senile.
Sad truth, pretty privilege is real. Unfortunately, people judge someone’s value based on their looks. Pretty privilege isn’t going to fully vanish. It is deeply engraved in our society. However, we can all be mindful of our unconscious biases. From that day, I realized how powerful words are. I learned the importance of thinking before talking. Words are powerful and we have to choose them well. Use the right words to encourage instead of discouraging. Be mindful today, every day, and always.
Be careful of your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten. — Carl Sandburg
Just in case no one told you today, you’re beautiful just the way you are ❤
