I’m feeling like 22
Taylor Swift humming I’m feeling like 22, everything will be alright. Is everything really going to be alright?
This year, I welcomed my plus-one age without a cake or a candle-blowing procession. Listening to Taylor Swift 22 at midnight is more than enough. Tick tock tick tock. Memories of life spin in rhythm with my bedroom wall clock. They flashed one by one. Starting from how I arrived in the hospital to see my newborn sister, up to my high school memories when I liked someone. Dude, you’ve come a long way. Twenty-two years. If there was a step tracking system like Apple smartwatches, imagine how many footsteps could be detected? Who knows. I’ve been through ups and downs. Fall down? I fell into a terrible accident and was hospitalized for a month. Not to mention the rehabilitation process. It happened during my first grade in elementary school. I got a pelvic fracture. Gosh, that was awful. I cried in the cold ICU room at midnight. I remembered how I re-learned how to sit and walk during rehabilitation. I have passed those terrible moments of my life, and I can face whatever awaits. Right?
I used to really look forward to my birthday. I can’t wait to grow up. I would brag about my birthday to anyone, “Dude, I’m one year older!” I don’t do it anymore. Anxious feeling in my head. I feel like I’m not ready for the adulting life with all of the responsibilities. Entering 22 means… I have to write my thesis? Do I have to do internships? Do I have to find jobs? Do I have to start earning money? I have to find my other half? Goosebumps! I was just playing hide and seek with my cousins all day long. Now, I have all those expectations? Oh no… What should I do first?
Mom once said that I have to live like water. Let it flow. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object. You shall find a way through it. Uhm… I guess that’s a good life principle. I once had a forceful personality where I would force myself to get this and that. I’d get distraught and stressed when it didn’t happen as I strived for.
As for what I will do now… I would do whatever came in front of me. It’s not that I don’t strive for my dreams. I do have goals. I still set them high. I’ll pursue them while working for whatever I face. I’d take a break whenever I needed to. I’ll work on everything slowly but surely.
Happy birthday. Let’s walk only on the flower roads, shall we?
